other bits of blog

Monday, May 10, 2010

inside me

Sorry I haven't posted in so long...busy week. Too much to do and to much to think about.
But I'm here today. For once I have no homework and nothing to do, except listen to 'In the Heights', my new obsession. So I took some pictures of lilacs.
They're so...lilac-y.
And now I'm writing. And I have no idea what to write. No idea at all.
Are there ever times when you feel like your brain is fighting a battle over what you know and what you should be doing? That's me right now. This reminds me of a tiime when I was in fourth grade, I think. Anyway, we were supposed to write in our notebooks, and I didn't know what to write--like now! But I wrote a story about the battle in my brain. It was pretty cool.
This moment also reminds me of a poem I wrote.

Filled with Something
Empty
It is empty
Hollow
Filled with nothing
No inspiration
Blank
A white, crisp sheet of paper
Waiting to be written on
But my pencil is dull
My pen out of ink
I have nothing to write with
Nothing to say
I am empty
Yet perfectly full of something
Something immense
Immeasurable
And I don’t know what it is
Somehow
I am empty
And full
Nothing
And something
And I must have inspiration
Since I am writing this now
So I must be filled with something
Something that I will imagine
And create in my hand
Like a chick
Hatching from its egg
My ideas will punch their way through this empty barrier
I am the director
The author
The actor
The characters
I am all
And every little bit
Of every thing I write
Must be filled
With everything I do
It must be filled
With something

So right now, I must be filled with something. Some kind of...something. I'm not empty, I know that, and I'm happy about it.
Of what I'm filled with, though, I have no idea...

3 comments:

  1. We used to have lilacs in our backyard. The tree was kinda falling over, but they were pretty and smelled nice. :)

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  2. We have lilacs in our driveway, and every time I walk outside and smell them I am happy. And also, nice poem, Maia!! :)

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