other bits of blog

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

a couple of things

So, people, I have—as the title says—a couple of things to tell you...
One. I probably won't be posting for a little while because I am—wait for it—moving! Yup, I am leaving the house that I have literally lived in since I was born and going to the city...well, town, really. Of Great Barrington. Today I walked around the farm that I live on and sort of said my winter goodbyes while listening to my latest obsession, American Idiot (the musical, duh!). I'm not ashamed to say I cried, but I also had quite a few moments. It sort of felt like the music was in tune with my mood, in beat with my step, and switched songs at exactly the right time. But maybe it was the other way around...I don't know. Anyway, Alana has a couple of pictures, a couple of posts, that will elaborate for me what I can't say here due to over-vacation homework. But just wanted to alert you and tell you that I'm kind of scared, really excited, pretty freaked out, extremely happy, and very sad. Wow, that's gonna make a good poem...
Simply Music
Something seems perfect
Too right to be real
And yet it is
All here
And all in my mind
Voices
Words
Music
Tuned into me
My actions
My feelings
Walking
Running
Dancing
Singing with the music pounding in my head
Cold and unbearably happy
Sad
Afraid
Too many emotions bottled up at once
Too many things on my mind
Too many things to do
Too much too soon
As they say
As I say now
As I sing
Perfect
Here in the moment
The moment when I say goodbye
And let go of all I’ve ever known
How am I supposed to do this?
Is there something I should say
Or feel?
I certainly feel too much
Too soon
Letterbombs and holidays
I walk down an empty road
All alone
Corresponding
Registering
So ear splittingly perfect
Quiet
Known only to me
Something so intimate
Private
And eternally special
I don’t know how to say it
What to do
Where to go
How should I know?
I’m new at this
And all but a baby
And yet
As I sing
And fall
And dance
And leap
And run
And cry
And think
And smile
And wonder
And remember
And laugh
And twirl
And do things I never thought I’d do
But I did them
I remembered
I sang
I danced
And most importantly, I lived
Lived what I lived here to the fullest
Never looked back
And I’ll never look back
Though I will remember
And grieve
But I will always come back
And never stop
There are so many things going through my mind
And I can’t describe them all
This will make people give me looks
But I’ve had too many before to count
So what will it matter?
It won’t
And that’s exactly my point
I’m thanking you
Not you yourself
And not you either
But whoever you are
Wherever you are
Thanks for this
But I don’t want to thank you
I can thank you
But what I need to thank
Need to remember
Need to grieve
Need to mourn
Need to love
And am never able to live without
Is the music
No matter what it is
No matter what you are
I’m thanking you now
Because there is nothing I could ever do without you
Nothing to say
Nothing to feel
Too much
Too soon
Too little
Too late
It’s not over
It will never be over
Because you’ve shown me music
And I can never thank you enough
For the rhythm
The rhyme
The beat
The tune
The lyrics
The poetry
The instruments
Everything
My life is made up of you
Of music
I can’t turn back time
Forgetting you but not the time
And I’ll never forget you
Never
I don’t want this to sound like a thank-you card
I know it does
Leave me be
I’ll miss you
Forever
Even though you’re still here
You were here with me today
And I thank you for that
For whatever you’ve done
Whatever you haven’t
Just thank you
For the music
That compels me to become the girl I am today
This girl
This music
I can’t be me without you
And all because of one simple word
One simple phrase
One lyric
One beat
One rhyme
One rhythm
One love
One music
Music
Simply music
Hey, I guess it did make a pretty awesome poem.
And this—randomly but not so randomly—below, is my awesomely orange kitchen! Check out more here.

And two. Look out for my next few posts, because they will contain Little Rays of Sunlight which I am currently one or two chapters away from finishing! My first, actual, serious, finished, short story! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am...
"There is nothing left to analyze...Now don't look back...It's not over 'till you're underground, it's not over before it's too late. This city's burning, it's not my burden. Wake up!" -Letterbomb, from American Idiot, currently playing on my computer and causing me to "leave you tonight..."
Ciao!
Okay, that was totally a lame ending, so I will end it again...
With a picture. Because that's what life is made up of, isn't it? Pictures and snow and stars and music and blogs and flowers and sunshine and books and don't make me finish this list because it will never end. There are just that many moments in life and the best ones are the ones that we can't describe, so I won't even try.

9 comments:

  1. It's sad you have to leave the farm!!! Now you can't walk through broccoli and eat it or become very close to buried in sand!!!! (that probably did't help...) but your post was very nice. :) :)

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  2. Liked that poem. Kinda depressing,but not really. Bittersweet I guess. I think I'm just surprised that you never, not once, used the actual word bittersweet. Anyway. I hope you have fun in your new house. Oh, and that picture of you is really pretty. And dramatic and striking and whatever, not just pretty.

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  3. Do you know who I am??? Okay that was a really stalker-ish thing to say...

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  4. anonymous person:...no i have absolutely no idea who you are. do you? :D but seriously, who are you?
    clark: at least my mom will still work at the farm, so i can go there whenever and pick broccoli and almost be buried in large amounts of sand at a certain point in time when no on will hear me scream... :D so i'll see you during as you like it?

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  5. it's me, maisies. anonymous person is me...as in, me, kiki/hermy/ring tailed lemur/and so on and so forth...

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  6. ok i thought it might be you on the first comment when you said that picture of me was pretty because you knew it was me. but then you asked if i knew who you were and then i was like, woa, who is she???
    :D

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  7. hey maisies, love the photo, but seriously, you look...younger or something....why? you look way different it's kinda freaking me out..
    -kiki

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  8. i dont look THAT different...it was just last summer! seriously, i remember the day my mom took that photo of me, it was last summer. but idk...maybe im a changed person now. :P
    but its probably the freckles, seriously, cause i have WAY more in the summer and less in the winter. that's my guess...

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  9. OOOOH hahaha i am a follower now. see your followers and you will know who i am.

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